August 31, 2009
· Filed under Stories
The rain outside drummed on the roof of 13 Baker Street. Sherlock Holmes reclined in his old, worn sofa, and carefully snorted his cocaine. His hands were shaking uncontrollably, and some of the white powder dusted onto his bathrobe. Watson, on the other hand, was trying to read the print edition of the most esteemed paper in London: Forever Finite.
“I do say, Watson,” he said, “this is some of the most exquisite crack I’ve sampled.”
Watson said nothing, and continued to delight in reading the good literature of Forever Finite.
“I would offer you some,” continued Holmes, “but I’m a drug addict, so I can’t.”
“Oh I can’t be bothered,” said Watson, as he put down his paper in disgust. That is, disgust at Sherlock Holmes – not disgust in the respectable writing of Forever Finite. He strode over to where Holmes lay slumped in his chair, and sucker-punched Holmes in the face.
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August 29, 2009
· Filed under General · Tagged artificial, contest, fabusome, homework, informative, insane, obscure location, truth
~by infinitestory
Tests are here. Already.
For me anyway (yes, I know that some of you out there are cracking up with overwhelming pity for me, you are lucky people).
My school gives us so much difficult work over the summer, then test us so much more difficultly. I’m starting to think they have no clue we all work the summer away without that extra load they give us.
It’s like not knowing Obama has all these crises at hand and telling him to fix all the computers in the U.S. Or giving your baby brother extra spinach after he just nearly choked on artichokes. Sadly for the broken computers and badly steamed spinach, there is going to be a lot of ignoring going on.
August 29, 2009
· Filed under General
NOTE: I KNOW Y’ALL LIKE TO HEAR ME WHINE ABOUT MY VACATIONS, SO HERE IT IS.
My recent trip to Yosemite was totally uneventful. Nothing happened, at all.
I’ll sift through some of my vague memories, and let’s see if there’s anything interesting that happened.
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August 22, 2009
· Filed under Useless
I can think of many reasons why women should not do yard work. Mainly because yard work doesn’t need to be done anyways.
But even more pertinent to people with all chromosomes identical, toxic stuffs are released by weed killers. These toxic stuffs will screw with lots of things related to females. But guys are mostly immune, so that’s the important thing.
You heard me: weed killers are actually baby killers.
Keep reading…
August 22, 2009
· Filed under Useless · Tagged artificial, crazy, fail, informative, interesting, truth
~by infinitestory
This is another segment I’m starting. It will have almost the same format as Things I Hate More Than You. Basically, it’s for me to say “i post on blog” when I’m too lazy to write a full post.
My oven is broken, and when it’s on it keeps making fire alarm noises. I had to shut it down via circuit breaker. Then I realized I couldn’t bake pizzas anymore.
My brother keeps complaining about the smell of the potato chips in the room. I figure kids these days can’t handle sea salt and vinegar. Still, he comes into my room just to smell the chips and complain.
August 21, 2009
· Filed under General · Tagged angry, crazy, explosion, frustrated, insane, repetitive repetition, truth
~by infinitestory
For my return to Forever Finite, I really don’t have anything big to say. Or, I didn’t.
I sat on my bed, laptop in front of me, with headphones on and Rooftops by Lostprophets playing. I ponder what bits of my boring life I could put into an interesting post. As I removed my headphones and glasses for a break, I hear a snapping sound.
I looked in my hands, and my glasses were broken. Crap.
August 20, 2009
· Filed under Controversial
I was watching this television show about some kid who was on TV because he started some super cool environmental project. A bunch of his friends in China planted trees and cleaned up a park, and they took a video of it and sent it to him. For this, he won an award.
This is unrelated to my main rant today, but I don’t think he deserves the award. Even if it’s some award nobody knows about, what did he do to earn it?
Since his project involved Chinese people, and he’s half Chinese (he said so himself), I expected that he’d have a good outlook on Chinese people.
I was in for a big surprise.
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August 19, 2009
· Filed under General
At Speech and Debate camp, this one girl gave a speech about the decline and death of handwriting. Of course, she 100% plagiarized off this Time article, which is probably why her speech didn’t suck.
But I have a few complaints to make.
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August 15, 2009
· Filed under General · Tagged artificial, ridiculous, salon, tanning
In life, there are many cycles. Loops. Circles. Cheerios.
Call it karma if you will.
But being the ambitious little bit…of nuisance that I am, I like to consider the grander scheme of things.
I’m talking about the cycles of the evolution of the human race.
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August 14, 2009
· Filed under General · Tagged environment, lies, nonsense
Slimey and gooey, ducks are actually pretty disgusting.
Wait.
What I’m talking about is neither gooey nor a duck. Actually, it is gooey.
Why don’t you just keep reading, instead of nitpicking at my logic and consistency.
Keep reading…
